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I’ve partnered with kid activity finder, Sawyer, to share a gift guide for mindful minis. These are some of the items on my own wish list for Baby P from Santa. How do you share your mindfulness practice with your littles? I’m so curious to know! I want to get back to my own yoga practice and always dreamed of sharing it with my son.
click here to find out what’s on the list
I recently received the new Colugo stroller and wanted to put it to the test vs my Babyzen stroller. Here’s a quick video of the 2 main differences. (please pardon the classical music at the beginning! Baby P was loving his book and it was the only way to get this recorded!)
I was recently interviewed by Matrescence Skincare about my transition into motherhood. For me, body image has been the most challenging part of growing a human! Read more here.
Photo by Michelle Rose
Wearing Baobei Maternity postpartum recovery legging and Adore bralette
Photo by Michelle Rose for SwearBy
Wearing Solly Baby wrap and nursing friendly top by CC Cuarto Creciente
Wearing your baby in a carrier can be a sanity saver for many parents. I am one of them and maybe you are too. I found it especially helpful in the early days when baby just wanted to be held and I wanted to do things, like eat.
Many expecting and new parents are confused where to start with carriers. There are many styles and brands out there. They may have a hand me down from a friend or been gifted with the latest one on the market. What choices do you have? There are long strips of fabric in either woven or stretch that you wrap around, there are stretch wraps already wrapped that take some guess work out, structured carriers and even combinations of woven and structure!
With Liz Wagner Biro, birth and postpartum doula, who helped me when Baby P was just a few days old get out of the house for the first time!
One brand that is popular for an introductory wrap is the Baby K’tan. This is a pre-sewn stretchy wrap that comes in sizes according to the wearer. I recommend this one for the newest of babies and baby wearers. It’s easy to use once you get the basic mechanics down and I find it fits a newborn well. With all carriers, please check manufacturers size recommendations beforehand. This one, and most, are suitable once baby is at least 8 pounds. If your baby has not reached this minimum please wait until they are just a tad bigger. If you and a partner or care giver both plan to wear the baby in a K’tan you may need more than one to fit each person. On the Baby K’tan website you can find a great instructional video on how to use. I recommend practicing with a doll or pillow (or a very compliant cat, haha. Just kidding) before putting your newborn in the carrier. I also like to practice over a soft surface like a bed, if using your baby, with a mirror nearby to check for proper placement.
Just a week old here, in my very loved Solly Baby wrap
My other favorite is a stretchy wrap. I personally love Solly Baby for their soft, lightweight fabrics. Moby is another popular brand and comes in a heavier weight fabric. There are many brands on the market at various price points. The stretchy wrap is the same idea as the K’tan but involves wrapping the long strip of fabric around your body to keep baby snug and secure. For many new parents this can feel intimidating. The key here is to start the wrap securely around the chest. It’s going to feel like it will be impossible to get your little bub in there but since the fabric stretches it will give enough to fit them in. If it is too tight it’s easy to adjust with a little tug and a shimmy. One downside of a stretchy wrap besides the learning curve is that after long periods of time it does stretch during the wear and you may need to take baby out and adjust.
Artipoppe woven wrap.
Similar to the stretchy wrap is a woven wrap. This one does not have the give of the stretchy wrap. It can be used for tiny babies all the way up to toddlers! You can front and back and even side carry. You can even carry twins. There are numerous brands out there with cult followings and a wide range in prices. I highly recommend watching a few YouTube videos or work with a baby wearing expert to get the hang of a woven wrap. There are many different ways to wrap and it can appear complicated for a beginner but once you master one or two ways you’ll feel like such a pro! One downside is the massive amount of fabric you’ll have to wrap around your body. It can be quite warm in warmer climates or summer.
Photo by Sharon Schuster
wearing Artipoppe ring sling. For €50 off Artipoppe click here
Ring slings are another choice. A ring sling is a piece of woven fabric with a metal ring that loops the tail through to secure baby. I often travel with a ring sling as I find it more comfortable on a flight than a structured carrier. It folds up small which makes it easy to pack. (I do take a structured carrier with me too when traveling for longer stretches of time as I find the back support better. Also fun fact- Baby P and I were flying across the country and he came down with diarrhea. Which covered us both and the sling mid flight. Fun times. I was thankful for another carrier and changes of clothes for us both).
Wearing Baby P in the Tula Free to Grow while visiting Nantucket at 2 months old.
The final category is the one you’re probably most familiar with- a structured carrier. This is something like an Ergo or Baby Bjorn. The carrier takes most of the guess work out of fit, leaving just a couple of straps to be adjusted to comfort. The shoulders and sometimes the waist belts are padded for extra comfort. If you have a Lille Baby, they come with a lumbar support pad which I really love when our and about all day with Baby P. The added lumbar support is also a nice bonus if you plan to do any baby wearing workouts. These structured carriers can feel like the least intimidating option and are usually what most people are familiar with seeing in regards to baby wearing. Many of the brands have come out with mesh styles which make them cooler to wear, especially in summer. They often come in fun colors and prints. And you can adjust for each wearer without needing multiples, like the Baby K’tan. Some models require an infant insert so check manufacturer directions. Many structured carriers will work with babies from 7-45 pounds! I personally have a few different structured carriers but find myself going to my Tula the most often. It’s now well loved and broken in so nicely. I’m a fan of the little hood to cover baby’s head if he’s fallen asleep or if the weather is inclement.
I find that breastfeeding in a structured carrier is easier for me than some other choices. I loosen the straps a bit, wiggle baby a bit lower and eventually we make it happen. This didn’t come without practice and I’d call it baby wearing 201 rather than 101! I’ve nursed in a ring sling as well and find this to be another good option for nursing while wearing, especially with a smaller baby. The stretchy and woven wraps are not ideal to nurse in as they needed to be rewrapped after loosening the placement.
No matter the carrier there are a few basic rules to follow for a proper fit. The acronym T.I.C.K.S will help you check that you’ve got all of the bases covered. T= tight. You want the carrier to fit snugly to your body as well as your baby’s body. A too loose carrier will allow baby to slouch down. This is not good for their spinal development as well as keeping their airway clear. I= In view at all times. You want to be able to see your baby’s face and nose, their face should not be pressed to your body. C= Close enough to kiss. The carrier should be lifted high enough that you can easily kiss the top of baby’s head without straining down. This is the number 1 fit correction I see with many people. K= Keep chin off chest. The baby’s neck should be supported enough to keep their chin from curling down towards their chest. This will keep their airway open. There should be a minimum of 1 finger width under their chin. S= Supported back. The carrier should be snug enough to baby that their back is supported in a natural shape. Newborns are not born with a natural S curve to the spine. You want to ensure that their back has ample support. To test this you can place a hand on their back with slight pressure. Their body should not move closer to you or uncurl. A final position check not covered by T.I.C.K.S is knees and hips. If baby is old enough to have their legs free, you want to ensure that the carrier fabric is stretched from knee to knee, allowing for a natural M shape with knees and bottom. The knees should rise above hip level. Without this M shape you may put undue stress on the hip joints and risk hip dysplasia. Whether front facing or towards you please ensure that baby’s legs are not dangling straight down from their body but in the M position. For a newborn their legs should be folded froggy style under their body and in the carrier.
Lille Baby carrier and wearing Leimere cashmere joggers and sweater on our first trip to Idaho.
There are also several body cues as a baby wearer to keep in mind. I have yet to find a source online that covers this in depth so I’m happy to share with you what I’ve discovered in my own baby wearing journey. Shoulders should be drawn away from the ears and relaxed down the back. Similar to carrying a heavy backpack, there’s a tendency to round the shoulders to the weight as well as in a protective position around baby. This will strain your back and neck. Another protective stance is to jut the hips forward or out to the side if doing a hip carry. We naturally feel as if we need to support the weight of the baby but that’s what the carrier is for! Draw the pelvis under your (unrounded!) shoulders with the tailbone in a neutral position. Try not to push your belly out as a shelf for baby or pop your booty out. Your body ideally is in a neutral state. Pay attention to your pelvic floor and breathing. If you’ve taken any of my classes, you know I talk ad nauseam about this. But there’s a reason! Your pelvic floor is under stress wearing the weight of your baby around your waist. If you’ve recently given birth, it’s in an even more delicate state as your uterus recovers to a pre pregnancy size. This takes a MINIMUM of 6 weeks, if not longer. Depending on the carrier and straps you may need to adjust the fit to a position that allows you to breathe fully and feel that you can safely protect your pelvic floor. From my own personal experience, even 13 months in, I am continually adjusting as Baby P grows to find our best fit. If you’ve given birth via cesarean birth, you should wait until your incision has healed and you’re able to support the weight of your baby without discomfort. This will be different timing for everyone. I also suggest choosing a carrier that does not put additional weight around the midsection. A structured carrier may need to wait until a later time if you’ve had this type of birth.
Baby carriers, like most things baby related, are a personal choice. There’s no one size fits all option. My recommendation is to do a little research and consider your needs. If you live in an urban setting like NYC where getting s stroller in the subway is not always convenient you may find yourself popping baby in a carrier more often and will need something sturdy yet lightweight. If you anticipate only using a carrier in the newborn stage something stretchy like the K’tan may be your best bet. Ask friends to try out theirs or if you have a store nearby that allows you to test wear go there. In NYC a wonderful resource is The Wild (formerly Wild Was Mama) in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. And don’t go crazy (like I did!) and buy a million options. Try one and see if that’s your jam before going all out baby wearing crazy.
365 days ago my birth story began. It started out like a normal day with my 39 week midwife visit in the morning. Baby P was looking good and I could feel his position in my womb, reconfirmed by my midwife Shar La Porte of Midwifery Care NYC. Then at the end of our visit she checked my blood pressure. It was significantly elevated for me so she suggested I go to the hospital to be monitored for a while. I had chosen Metropolitan Hospital as my plan B transfer hospital so went there for monitoring. After 4 hours, tons of meditation and calming mantra, my pulse and BP remained high. The midwife on duty suggested I stay to be induced. I declined, signed myself out and went home with the intent to buy a BP cuff and monitor myself. I was certain that the entire pizza I ate the night before was to blame. I felt totally fine.
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On our cab ride home, however, I received a call from both of my midwives recommending that I return to the hospital to be induced. This was so not my plan A, B, C, D, E. Never in my planning of possible birth scenarios was induction for high blood pressure a possibility. Post dates, maybe, but not this! I was healthy and active throughout my entire pregnancy without any health concerns. My midwives kindly but firmly let me know that I was now high risk and no longer eligible for a home birth. Many tears ensued.
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I had a long sob filled call with my doula Lindsey as we processed this major change of events. I cried as I packed a bag for the hospital. I cried and cursed as I deflated my birth ball to take with me. I packed the many little items I had prepared for my birth altar, including the mala in this picture that was made of the ashes from my sweet Thea by Bree of Baby’s Breath Birth. I called my brother to cry and vent and curse some more. I swore him to secrecy because I knew inductions could take a while and I didn’t want calls and texts asking “is the baby here yet?!”
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I arrived after shift change and got settled into a room to begin the process. I set up the room, just like I do for my doula clients, with electric tea lights, music and energy clearing spray. This wasn’t my plan but I was going to make the best of it.
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I was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced and baby was high in my pelvis at -2/3. Not the best but not the worst starting point. Cervadil, a cervical ripener was inserted. Cervadil is a prostaglandin gel, inserted vaginally (fun fact the hormone prostaglandin is naturally found in semen). The plan was to go to sleep and start pitocin in the morning. About 30 minutes later I started feeling contractions. As a doula I had been so curious what contractions actually felt like after explaining them to clients and witnessing many people give birth. I even wrote some notes on my observations. And then shit got intense. I wasn’t timing them but I noted the monitor that they were coming closer and closer together and gaining in intensity. Cervadil doesn’t cause contractions. My hope was that the vaginal exam with the Cervadil was enough to kick start my body into labor on its own. After a few hours with contractions 1-3 minutes apart I text my doula that I needed her even though it was early. Thankfully she’s a cool human and a really amazing doula and she rolled out of bed and came to my side.
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more to come...
If you’re feeding your baby breastmilk, the odds are that you’re pumping as well. Pumping can suck, but it doesn’t have to. I’ve done my own market research (i,e, I own way too many breast pumps) so you don’t have to.
A few things to consider when purchasing a breast pump is how often you anticipate pumping. Will you be an occasional pumper? a full time pumper? pump only at work? These answers can help you choose the right pump for you.
Most insurances cover a variety of pumps. I see many clients tempted by the Medela Freestyle. It’s portable, comes with a neat little carry bag and looks almost cute. Don’t be fooled. This pump has been reported by many moms as not having strong enough suction. Your better bet for. Medela model pump is the Pump In Style Advanced. While it’s not as easily portable, it does have better suction than the Freestyle. You can get it with a carry bag as well, but it is a bigger pump than the Freestyle.
Another popular brand that is on the rise is the Spectra. I personally have the Spectra 2 and the 9, The Spectra is comparable to the Medela Pump In Style Advanced (which I have as well) but in my opinion is far superior to the Medela. The Spectra 1 is the portable version of the 2 (the main difference is it has a battery and does not need to be plugged into an outlet). The suction strength is great and also has the option to vary suction length so you can customize your pump setting. The downside is that the pump is big and doesn’t fit easily in a bag to be transported. For this reason I got the Spectra 9. This one is Spectra’s version of the portable Medela Freestyle. I’m not a fan. My output is significantly less with the Spectra 9. I have to pump extra minutes to get the same volume I would with the 2. It also does not allow you to vary suction length. If you’re an occasional pumper, you may be fine with this but I’d recommend skipping it.
For an easy to toss in your bag option I love the Medela manual pump. Manual pumps aren’t always the most popular because you have to be hands on (no scrolling social media while you pump!) but you get so much more control. You can control how long and strong the suction is by how long and how fully you press the handle. I get the best output with the manual pump. It’s small and easy to take anywhere. I’ve even pumped in the back of an Uber without the driver even knowing! (Or at least he didn’t seem to notice!).
Wearable pumps are newer on the scene. The Willow is one and another that I’ve been lucky to try is Elvie. Unfortunately I don’t have hands on experience with the Willow. Neither brand is currently covered by insurance and are quite costly (Willow, $479, Elvie &499 but currently waitlisted). I’ve heard mixed reviews from moms who have used the Willow. Some have loved the hands free, cord free, attachment free ease. Others have reported that it’s uncomfortable and the storage bags are not their favorite. I had a tough time getting the Elvie to work for me st first but their customer service was quite helpful. For me, I needed more pressure and found that a non nursing bra worked better. If you follow me on Instagram (@erin_doulight) you’ve seen me singing the praises of this pump. I love it. I love the freedom and the gentle suction. It’s almost silent. While I love it, I do still use my Spectra 2 and wouldn’t give it up entirely for the Elvie. If the price tag isn’t a deal breaker, it’s worth a consideration for the truly hands free mobility.
The Haakaa is an option I wasn’t going to initially include but really loved using it in the early months of breastfeeding. The Haakaa is a different style of breast pump in that it suctions on to the non nursing breast and collects the let down. When you’re pumping or nursing, both breasts will have a let down reflex even if not being stimulated. The Haakaa will collect it, with gentle suction, into a reservoir. I recommend using this with a nursing/ pumping style bra (my favorites are from The Dairy Fairy) to keep little hands and feet from knocking it off and spilling the milk. I was able to collect and stash a pretty good amount before ever breaking out an electric pump.
For exclusive pumpers or those who will be pumping more than nursing may wish to rent a hospital grade pump. These pumps are designed for frequent use and have stronger motors to handle the mileage. Your insurance may cover the rental, and some will even cover your purchase of a hospital grade pump (you may need a prescription from your care provider).
Consider what your anticipated needs are while pregnant. Call your insurance or contact a service like Aeroflow to help you navigate your options. You may also be entitled to additional pumping supplies like valves, tubing and bottles so ask for these too.
I’d love to hear your reviews of pumps you’ve tried, loved/ hated or are curious about! Happy Pumping, mamas!
I’ve just arrived back from a solo trip to Paris with Baby P and learned a few tips and tricks along the way. Many suggestions came from those of you on Instagram. Whether it’s a short or a long flight there are a few things to make everyone’s lives easier. I don’t mean handing out ear plugs and treats to nearby passengers. I don’t believe in that. You don’t need to apologize for a baby’s cries. But hopefully with a few tips you can minimize any stress to you and baby.
Bring a baby carrier
I pack two. Because I’m crazy like that and don’t have just one favorite. The soft structured Tula Free To Grow is my go to for walking around and moving through the airport. I’m not often asked to take the baby out for security when using this one. I also bring a ring sling (and when Baby P was much smaller I brought my beloved Solly Baby wrap) for the flight. This is more comfortable for me to sit in, I can adjust his position for nursing and our comfort . I just pop the structured carrier into the overhead bin and switch to the sling mid flight when he’s ready to nap. The plane is basically a giant white noise machine and will hopefully lull baby to sleep. Mine won’t sleep with lights on and the flight attendants moving about as he’s too curious but once that’s over he’s out like a light.
Diapering
Bring extra diapers and wipes. Because you just never know and being short on these isn’t a fun way to travel. I also put Baby P in overnight diapers for this long flight to avoid having to change too often. On our way to Paris I changed him in the airport bathroom which has a more spacious change area into the overnight diaper and left it until we arrived to France. Unfortunately that didn’t work coming back as he decided take off was a great time for the biggest poo of his life. Those tiny airplane bathrooms don’t always have a change table and are so cramped. I also pack disposable changing covers. Because gross. I bought chux pads in bulk from Amazon. I didn’t try this but several parents suggested doubling up on diapers if you fear a blowout.
Changes of clothes
Bring at least one change of clothing for both you and baby. Accidents happen. Make your outfit change simple. I usually travel in leggings or sweatpants (cashmere Leimere joggers are my current go to), a nursing tank and a nursing accessible top (the Gemma sweatshirt from Teat and Cosset is a no brainer. I was able to nurse discreetly on the flight, even when we both fell asleep. Out and about in Paris it was easy to nurse without a fuss. If you aren’t nursing, dress in easy layers since planes are often cold but sometimes can feel like a sauna. And don’t forget the pockets for easy access to your boarding pass, lip balm, phone and a toy or two. For baby, I prefer to put him in footed pajamas and call it a day. It makes changes easier and if something gets soiled there is only one item to change. I keep an extra in my diaper bag and a third easily accessible in carry on luggage. I pack a swaddle in the diaper bag too for an extra layer if cold or to use to cover us up if cabin lights aren’t being turned off and I need to get the baby to rest. A tip one parent suggested was to make a tent with the swaddle over our seat area.
Toys and snacks
I wrapped a few of his favorite toys in left over wrapping paper then stuck them in Ziploc bags. The unusual shapes, crinkly paper and plastic were layers of entertainment possibilities. I also brought a few teethers, multiple pacifiers, baby cereal puffs, teething crackers, his straw cup, and snacks for myself like fruit and nut bars. Also Babyganics hand sanitizing wipes to wipe everything down once it fell as well as our seat area as soon as we got on the plane. Oddly, my hand sanitizer bottle is one of his favorite “toys” so that’s in the easy to access pocket of my diaper back pack for hand sanitizing purposes but also as a back up toy.
Seats
Many people suggested getting the bulkhead seat with the bassinet. We didn’t get this as it was unavailable on the way to France but decided he was either going to be too big or just wasn’t going to use it on the way back. Baby P never slept in a bassinet so I decided not to bother. But if your baby does sleep in one absolutely request it. You’ll get more leg room and less likely to have seat mates. I was told that it’s first come first serve at the counter so queue early when you arrive to the airport. Since I was solo on this particular flight I preferred an aisle seat. Many suggested to take a window and and aisle if traveling with a partner to increase the likelihood of getting a row to yourself. Up to you if you want to try that as most middle seaters would happily trade seats for one of the others. I’ve found airport staff and flight attendants to be quite friendly and helpful (outside of NYC) and if you just ask for a better seat they may accommodate you. I also learned through pregnancy and these early months of parenting that I just need to ask for and accept help. I never would before but it’s necessary now.
Schedules
Let them go while traveling. Watch baby’s cues and try your best to meet his needs. We don’t do strict schedules at home (not against them, just doesn’t work for our lives) but rather a routine. It’s hard to keep a schedule when you’re dealing with so many unknowns, new noises and things like flight delays. Just do your best and try not to stress. Jet lag in France was a bit crazy for us both and I was lulled into a false sense of confidence when Baby P seemed to adjust seamlessly on the first day. Day 2 he went to bed around 8pm only to wake at 10pm until 2am!! So we rolled with it. He joined me for dinner or dessert rather than fighting his desire to not sleep when it seemed like a reasonable hour for a baby to be in bed.
Don’t Forget Your Needs
All of this packing for baby may lead you to forget yourself. Don’t forget the items to help you survive the flight. I’ve been into audiobooks since Baby P hit the scene so I downloaded a few and brought my AirPods. (Which I probably lost on the flight to Paris and missed having on the return). You may even be able to sneak in a Netflix episode or two if bub is sound asleep. Bring snacks and water for yourself as well as any comforts you like (a neck pillow, cushy socks, ultra hydrating face mist).
At Your Destination
Once you’ve reached your destination you’ll want your creature comforts that make life easier. I packed a white noise machine that also had a night light built in as well as a small outlet extension with USB ports. This way I was able to connect everything without cables strewn all over. Because another favorite thing to play with are cables. And outlets. I brought outlet covers in the extension just for safety. (Which of course didn’t fit in France but are great for US destinations).
Travel high chair
A big shout out to Libi Molnar for this one. This folding travel high chair was fantastic. Compact and easy to use. I ended up never taking it out to a restaurant as we mostly ate at home but it could have easily fit under the travel stroller (we use the Baby Zen Yoyo). It can also be used on the floor or if you’re going to the park or somewhere outdoors for seating there as well. I almost used it to have a shower but luckily had hands available to watch baby. I can see this chair growing with us for a while.
I hope these tips help you in your adventures with baby! Enjoy!!
I always love feedback and additional advice. Feel free to message/ comment and share!
Baby P is now 7 months old and we are a month into food exploration. We have chosen to go the baby led approach rather than traditional weaning. Traditional weaning includes spoon feeding purées to you baby while baby led includes giving the whole foods in appropriate sizes.
We chose this approach for a few reasons. One is that baby learns the skills to hold, bring food to his mouth and chew rather than simply a swallowing reflex. He is in control of what he eats, how much, and how fast. He is learning autonomy over his own body. With baby led feeding he is also learning to explore foods in their various forms. There are a variety of tastes, textures, sizes and colors. This way he explores food through more than a single consistency of food purées. We offer him safe versions of whatever we are eating. We sit together and have our meals together. I don’t hurry him long or encourage another bite. If it all ends up on the floor, that’s ok.
We have tried a variety of flavors and textures already, just one month into solids. Toast and pasta are huge hits. Avocado, not so much. But I continue to offer the misses on occasion. We did start with one food at a time to check for allergies but after a chat with the pediatrician decided to be more adventurous since we don’t have a family history of food allergies. Also per our pediatrician’s recommendation, we introduced common allergens pretty soon but talk to your pediatrician about this (and all food) before beginning.
We were also lucky to be gifted some delicious and organic baby food from a new brand, Yumi. I’ve pre loaded his spoon with a bit of the purée and then let him pick it up and feed it (or smear it) himself. I also tossed some pasta in the kale and white bean flavor as sauce for dinner. I plan to bake some muffins with the sweeter blends too. And since it can be frozen up to 2 months there’s no rush!
Feeding a baby is messy business but a few small tools can go a long way. 1) just let it happen. I’m definitely a type A perfectionist (the dishwasher DOES in fact have a right way to load it) but I’m letting it go for my son’s food journey. 2) Use a spill mat on the floor. Makes clean up a breeze. I dump the food into the trash and give it a good rinse in the shower and air dry. 3) Get baby down to his diaper. Or use a sleeved cover. 4) family shower or give baby a quick rinse in the shower or sink if it’s especially messy. After breakfast, I often just hop in the shower and bring the little dude with me. Careful! Soapy babies are very slippery. Save the soap for the tub and just let water rinse away the food.
Whatever method of baby feeding you chose, make it fun! Fun for you, fun for baby, fun for the family.